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A dusty thudding in his head made the scene before him beat like a pulse. His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night and then as its mausoleum.
—  Kingsley William Amis
I want a dish to taste good, rather than to have been seethed in pig's milk and served wrapped in a rhubarb leaf with grated thistle root.
—  Kingsley William Amis
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.
—  Kingsley William Amis
Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.
—  Kingsley William Amis
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
—  Kingsley William Amis
Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in.
—  Kingsley William Amis
Death has got something to be said for it: There's no need to get out of bed for it; Wherever you may be, They bring it to you, free.
—  Kingsley William Amis
It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start their life as children.
—  Kingsley William Amis
I wish I could have a little tape-and-loudspeaker arrangement sewn into the binding of this magazine, to be triggered off by the light reflected from the reader's eyes on to this part of the page, and set to bawl out at several bels: MORE WILL MEAN WORSE.
—  Kingsley William Amis
It was no wonder that people were so horrible when they started life as children.
—  Kingsley William Amis

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