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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience.
—  George Bernard Shaw
A man learns to skate by staggering about making a fool of himself; indeed, he progresses in all things by making a fool of himself.
—  George Bernard Shaw
What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.
—  George Bernard Shaw
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
—  George Bernard Shaw
You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges: the old ones, grub.
—  George Bernard Shaw
An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.
—  George Bernard Shaw
There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.
—  George Bernard Shaw
All professions are conspiracies against the laity.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Well, sir, you never can tell. That's a principle in life with me, sir, if you'll excuse my having such a thing.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody can read.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The great secret is not having bad manners or good manners or having any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls; in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no third class carriages and one soul is as good as another.
—  George Bernard Shaw
We are made wise not by the recollections of our past, but by the responsibilities of the our future.
—  George Bernard Shaw
We have not lost faith, but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.
—  George Bernard Shaw
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
—  George Bernard Shaw
How can what an Englishman believes be heresy? It is a contradiction in terms.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The worst cliques are those which consist of one man.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
—  George Bernard Shaw
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
—  George Bernard Shaw
A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Brigham Young lived to become immortal in history as an American Moses by leading his people through the wilderness into an unpromised land.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Few people think more than two or three times a year. I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Money is the most important thing in the world. It represents health, strength, honor, generosity, and beauty as conspicuously as the want of it represents illness, weakness, disgrace, meanness, and ugliness.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Morality is suspecting other people of not being legally married.
—  George Bernard Shaw
If all you are going to do in life are the things that are convenient and comfortable, the great things never get done.
—  George Bernard Shaw
He who has nothing to assert has no style and can have none: he who has something to assert will go as far in power of style as its momentousness and his conviction will carry him
—  George Bernard Shaw
If parents would only realize how they bore their children!
—  George Bernard Shaw
As an old soldier, I admit the cowardice: it's as universal as seasickness, and matters just as little.
—  George Bernard Shaw
I am a sort of collector of religions: and the curious thing is that I find I can believe in them all.
—  George Bernard Shaw
What the world calls originality is only an unaccustomed method of tickling it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Marry Ann; and at the end of a week you'll find no more inspiration in her than in a plate of muffins.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Animals are my friends ... and I don't eat my friends.
—  George Bernard Shaw
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The greatest of evils and the worst of crimes is poverty.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The man who listens to Reason is lost; Reason enslaves all whose minds are not strong enough to master her.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The mathematician is fascinated with the marvelous beauty of the forms he constructs, and in their beauty he finds everlasting truth.
—  George Bernard Shaw
We must all share in the evils of the world or move to another planet.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
—  George Bernard Shaw
I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.
—  George Bernard Shaw
I like a bit of a mongrel myself, whether it's a man or a dog. They're the best for every day.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Nothing is ever done in this world until men are prepared to kill one another is it is not done.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
—  George Bernard Shaw
People must not be forced to adopt me as their favourite author, even for their own good.
—  George Bernard Shaw
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
—  George Bernard Shaw
What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Virtue consists, not in abstaining from vice, but in not desiring it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
My friend, when a man has anything to tell in this world, the difficulty is not to make him tell it, but to prevent him from telling it too often.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Women upset everything. When you let them into you life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.
—  George Bernard Shaw
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
—  George Bernard Shaw
There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The whole strength of England lies in the fact that the enormous majority of the English people are snobs.
—  George Bernard Shaw
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Is the devil to have all the passions as well as all the good tunes?
—  George Bernard Shaw
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Must then a Christ perish in torment in every age to save those that have no imagination.
—  George Bernard Shaw
One man that has a mind and knows it, can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
—  George Bernard Shaw
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
When a man wants to murder a tiger, it's called sport; when the tiger wants to murder him it's called ferocity.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Justice is justice though it's always delayed and finally done only by mistake.
—  George Bernard Shaw
There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Power does not corrupt men. Fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.
—  George Bernard Shaw
You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.
—  George Bernard Shaw
We educate one another; and we cannot do this if half of us consider the other half not good enough to talk to.
—  George Bernard Shaw
I tell you that as long as I can conceive something better than myself I cannot be easy unless I am striving to bring it in to existence or clearing the way for it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Modern poverty is not the poverty that was blest in the Sermon on the Mount.
—  George Bernard Shaw
What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Epistle Dedicatory to Man and Superman: The whole world is strewn with snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the capture of men by women.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The true joy in life is being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.
—  George Bernard Shaw
A government with the policy to rob Peter to pay Paul can be assured of the support of Paul.
—  George Bernard Shaw
All sorts of bodily diseases are produced by half used minds.
—  George Bernard Shaw
What God hath joined together no man shall ever put asunder: God will take care of that.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Has fear ever held a man back from anything he really wanted?
—  George Bernard Shaw
We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.
—  George Bernard Shaw
If there was nothing wrong in the world there wouldn't be anything for us to do.
—  George Bernard Shaw
And so, to the end of history, murder shall breed murder, always in the name of right and honor and peace, until the gods are tired of blood and create a race that can understand.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.
—  George Bernard Shaw
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.
—  George Bernard Shaw
All censorships exist to prevent any one from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently the first condition of progress is the removal of censorships.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Money is indeed the most important thing in the world; and all sound and successful personal and national morality should have this fact for its basis.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Jesus remains unshaken as the practical man; and we stand exposed as the fools, the blunderers, the unpractical visionaries.
—  George Bernard Shaw
A lifetime of happiness: no man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
—  George Bernard Shaw
My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.
—  George Bernard Shaw
I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Tyndall declared that he saw in Matter the promise and potency of all forms of life, and with his Irish graphic lucidity made a picture of a world of magnetic atoms, each atom with a positive and a negative pole, arranging itself by attraction and repulsion in orderly crystalline structure. Such a picture is dangerously fascinating to thinkers oppressed by the bloody disorders of the living world. Craving for purer subjects of thought, they find in the contemplation of crystals and magnets a happiness more dramatic and less childish than the happiness found by mathematicians in abstract numbers, because they see in the crystals beauty and movement without the corrupting appetites of fleshly vitality.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about?
—  George Bernard Shaw
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The liars punishment is, not in the least that he cannot be believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
—  George Bernard Shaw
It is clear that a novel cannot be too bad to be worth publishing ... It certainly is possible for a novel to be too good to be worth publishing.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
—  George Bernard Shaw
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
—  George Bernard Shaw
Cruelty must be whitewashed by a moral excuse, and a pretense of reluctance.
—  George Bernard Shaw
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure for it is occupation.
—  George Bernard Shaw
The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.
—  George Bernard Shaw

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