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Life is short; to prove it, criminals sentenced to life get out in ten years.
—  Gary Apple
I'm not the man I used to be, so why should I have to pay off his debts?
—  Gary Apple
You may not know this, but I'm an impressionist. Allow me to do my impression of a competent public speaker.
—  Gary Apple
That's a very good question. See me at the break, and I'll avoid answering it then, too.
—  Gary Apple
I'm way overdue for a promotion. I've made so many lateral moves, I'm beside myself.
—  Gary Apple
I'm fascinated by historical trivia. For example, George Washington had trouble flossing because his teeth kept catching fire.
—  Gary Apple
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him on weekends.
—  Gary Apple
Can you believe the weather we are having? Cold, windy and damp ... And I hear outdoors it's even worse.
—  Gary Apple

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This online quotation search tool is used to search thousands of quotes by author, word or phrase.

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